HELP ME JEFF!!!!!!!

I'm sitting here on Mothers Day thinking of my Mother, and how much I miss her today, and everyday for that matter. Than I look back at my Wife and remember all those glorious times we had being parents. This particular story happened when we were station at RAF Bentwaters U.K.

We used to have a teenage boy (Jeff) babysit for us, so Kathi and I could go out on dates. Tom loved Jeff, he would carry Tommy around by his feet, and throw him onto the couch, and Tommy would laugh so much it was pretty hilarious. In late 1982, Kathi and I were at church and Tommy was being a PITA (Pain In The Ankle) as Kathi would say. I was holding Missy and had just got her to sleep when Tommy started. I looked at Kathi and said it was her turn to take him out and tell him he needed to be reverent. Kathi rolled her eyes, and grabbed Tom by the arm and started walking out with him. All of sudden, Tom screams at the top of his lungs. "HELP ME JEFF, SHE'S GOING TO BEAT ME" Everybody in the congregation started to laugh histarically. I was totally embarassed and kinda scooted down in my seat. Kids always pick the most inoppurtune time to say or do something that will totally embarass his/her parents. I used to always say that we would spend the first two years of a childs life, trying to teach them to talk and walk. Than we spend the rest of their lives telling them to "SIT DOWN AND SHUT-UP!"

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!!

APRIL FOOLS

This story happened on April 1st 1990 or 91. Tom Jr. has always been a prankster, and this particular prank stunned his growth. Let me start by saying that Greg and Tim love to sleep. Tim, in a seminary class, was once given a chance to draw his thoughts of what heaven looked like. He drew a picture of his bed. This particular Saturday, April 1st, Tom decided to pull a joke on his younger brothers and wake them up at 7:30 in a rush and tell them that they were going to be late for school. He helped them get ready and sent them out the back door so that they could walk the block and a half to the school house. Tom then ran out the front door, and ran to the school and hid in the bushes and waited for his prey. As Tim and Greg walked past the bushes, in which Tom was hiding, he jumped out and screamed "APRIL FOOLS!" and began to laugh. Once Greg heard Tom say it was Saturday and they didn't have school, he pounced on Tom with Tim's help, and beat him 'till he couldn't grow no more. That is why Tom, to this day, is shorter than his brothers.

Later on that afternoon I heard screaming coming from the downstairs bathroom. I went running in to witness Gregs pee bouncing out of the toilet and onto the walls. After further investigation, I saw cellophane over the toilet bowl. I turned to see Missy and Tim standing there dumbfounded with no Tom Jr. I began the hunt for my son with a bucket, a rag and a spounge. I found him hiding under his bed giggling. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out from under the bed and asked him where he learned such a stunt. He replied "NICKLODIAN" Needless to say Nicklodian was off limits for two weeks. I told him it was his chore to clean the downstairs bathroom, and that he should thank his lucky stars that his Mother didn't sit on that toilet, or he would be dead! Nothing I could of done to save him from the Rath of MOM!

Later on that evening more screaming came from my daughter Missy's room. I ran upstairs to see the tears flowing from my daughters eyes as Mr. Bear was hung from her ceiling fan doing the Hokie Pokie. I sentenced my son to a visit with his Mother, and the smirk instantly left his face. I told him earlier that there was nothing I could do to save him anymore, He slowly walked down the hallway toward my room, like an inmate on deathrow.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY EVERYBODY!!!!!!

"MY LEGS ARE BROKE"

Kathi and I would always joke around with one another in the early years of our marriage. When ever I accused her of not having a sense of humor, she would say, "I married you!" If I ever asked for a glass of ice water she would say "Why can't you get it yourself?" I would reply "My legs are broke," Kathi would smile and when I least expected it, she'd ask me to get her something. When I looked at her curiously she'd say "My legs are broke". We continued this for years. A little while after the "I KILLED MISSY!" story, we had a funny experience. It was a late Saturday morning, the sun was out and the flowers were blooming. I had the sliding glass door open so that we could get some fresh spring air through the screen door. I sat down to watch the Cleveland Indians VS Oakland A's. We were stationed in California and the game started at 1:05 Cleveland time, so it was 10:05 California time. Missy and Tom Jr. had been sitting at the dining room table, coloring in their coloring books, for a while and Kathi was in the bedroom folding clothes and talking to her mother on the phone.. Kathi yelled from the bedroom "MISSY! GRANDMA WANTS TO TALK TO YOU ON THE PHONE", Missy jumped off her chair and immediately did a face plant on the dinning room floor. She began screaming "MY LEGS ARE BROKE!" and I busted up laughing because that's how she interpreted what Kathi and I have been telling each other for years. My legs are broke, means that my legs are asleep and they would not work. Kathi came out and started lecturing me again about laughing at our children when they got hurt. I said "Her legs are going to heal pretty quick, its not like they are really broke! But you know how it is with Moms and their children. Fathers are STUPID! Kathi said "Will you come over here and hug your daughter and let her know everything will be alright. I said "I can't, my legs are broke" That's when the fight started.

A BLUE ROSE

This e-mail was sent to me from a friend today, and I wanted to share it with all of you. Remember my brother Rick was a blue rose.

Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen years old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here"

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?"

"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.

"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve."

"Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?"

"How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.

"You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk to her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"

Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."

She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.

May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? because by the grace of God, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, brother or sister. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.

From an old dandelion!

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!"

If this story blesses you today, Please consider sharing it with others. I did!

9.9 - 9.8 - 10.0 - 9.8 - 10.0

This story happened during the winter storm of 2002 in Ohio. I love the snow when I don't have to go to work, or anywhere else for that matter. This particular storm, dumped 20 inches of snow on us over a two day period and was also the main reason that I now have a snow blower! I also did not care for this SNOW!

It was a Saturday morning and I asked Tim, if he would help me shovel the drive for the umpteenth time and he said sure. We bundled ourselves up, which consisted of putting on our coats and gloves and started the task at hand. Like I said, this was the umpteenth time of shoveling and we had a good amount of snow, (about four feet) piled up on both sides of the drive.

Tim all of a sudden stops shoveling and says, "Hey Dad! can I jump off the house into the snow?" The conversation went like this:

"NO!"

"why not?"

"what will the neighbors say?"

"Who cares!"

I thought about all the fun I had with my brothers jumping into snow banks, and playing tackle football in the street while we were growing up in Akron. I told Tim, "What the heck, go have fun." "If your Mom sees you, or hears you, I had nothing to do with it" As he ran to the backyard to climb the antenna to get on the roof he said, "Thanks Dad! I Love You" and I said, "Don't KILL yourself!" I smiled as I saw him disappear into the backyard.

Now let me take a minute to explain something here. I have been married to the same woman for 23 years at this time, and she has never helped me shovel snow. This was going to be a new story, because as soon as Tim disappeared to the back, the front door opens and out walks Kathi, dressed like Randy in the movie "A CHRISTMAS STORY" you know "I CAN'T PUT MY ARMS DOWN" Randy? Well her she comes to help me shovel snow. She says "wheres Tim?" I said "he ran off somewhere" so she said "what do you want me to do?" I glanced over her shoulder and saw Tim on the roof with an expression on his face of "what do I do?" I handed Kathi the push broom and told her to push the snow right here, pointing at a GIANT snow pile while I glanced up at Tim. He nodded his head letting me know we were on the same page. Kathi began pushing the snow across the driveway, and when she got close to the pile, Tim did an AWESOME cannonball into the GIANT pile of snow. Kathi jumped out of her skin, and if you've never seen a kanipshion, you don't want to because they are not pretty! Tim came out of the snow pile and gave me a high five and that's when the lecture started.

"What kind of Father lets their Son jump off houses?" I told her "I did it when I was young!" and she said "AND LOOK HOW YOU TURNED OUT!" I kinda had a smirk on my face by then, because not to be outdone by his brother, Greg was now on the roof taking his clothes off. I said a silent prayer that he at least keep his boxers on. He did! He had his Smiley face boxers on and was freezing. Just about the time Kathi said "What are the neighbors going to say?" Greg did a perfect Swan dive into the snow. As Greg came out from under all that snow, he ran by me muttering "HOT SHOWER, HOT SHOWER" The neighbors began applauding and whistling their approval and Kathi said "I'm going in the house!" She has never helped me with the shoveling since. I Love my Boys!

YOU WANT TO BE A WHAT?????

We Mormons have a thing called Family Home Evening or FHE. This is where the family gets together on Monday evenings and read scriptures and learn of our Lord Jesus Christ. Normally it would start after dinner, and who ever was assigned the lesson would tell us what we were to do. This one particular FHE stuck in my mind ever since it happened in 1991. We had a spiritual lesson given by Kathi and when it was over, it was time for dessert. The kids always loved dessert time.

After dessert, I started asking my children what they wanted to be when they grew up? I told them that they could be whatever they wanted, if they put their mind to it, and studied hard. I started with the oldest. Tom was 11, and thought for a moment and said "I would like to be a doctor!" I asked why, and he said he wanted to help people in the world that were sick. I was proud of my son for his compassion for other people.

Next I asked Missy. She was 9 and thought about it for a minute or two and said "I would like to be a singer or actress on T.V." I ask her why? she said she wanted to make people happy with her songs and movies that she was in. I was proud of her for her compassion for her fellow man.

Next was Greg. He was 6 and a very rambuctious little boy. When I finally got him settled down enough. I asked the question. He thought hard about it and replied, "I want to be a fireman or a policeman" I asked him why? He said he wanted to protect and save people from fires and bad people. I thought this was very noble of him and was very proud of him.

Last was Tim. He was 4 and sat very quietly in the corner of the room and I assumed he was contemplating the question in his mind. I asked him, "Timmy, what do you want to be when you grow up? Without hesitation he replied, "I WANT TO BE A DUCK!" I instantly saw the future for my son of 25 years standing in front of a Granny Goose store selling potato chips dressed as a duck. I said, "You can't be a duck" He immediately bagan to cry and said "YOU SAID I COULD BE WHATEVER I WANTED TO BE" and I said "YES! but not a duck!" He couldn't understand why he couldn't be a duck when we adopted him from an ape family. I said "Who told you that!" and his reply was, "THEY DID!" pointing to his brothers and sister. I looked at the three of them and they began pointing at one another. Tom did it! nut ha it was Greg. No it wasn't it was Missy. I think it was Tom to tell the truth but the jury is still out on that one. I held Tim and rocked him to sleep that night and explained to him that he was not adopted from an ape family. Heavenly Father blessed us with his presence and we would take care of him until he could go out on his own. I tucked him in and said "Goodnight" and started to walk out of the room, He said "Daddy! does this mean I can't be a duck?" I said, "You can be whatever you want to be Timmy". He smiled and closed his eyes to sleep.

I'm happy to say that Tim is not a duck, but doing well in college as well as being married to his childhood sweetheart. Sarah and Tim have a son of their own, Levi Hunter was born November 17, 2010 and Mom and Dad and baby are living Happily ever after. Quack! Quack!

I KILLED MISSY!!!

I have so many stories about my family over the years that I thought I'd start blogging them so that when I'm older and grayer, I could go back to my younger days and remember the good ol days.



This first story happened around April 1986. Kathi and I were stationed at Beale Air Force Base in California. Home of the SR-71. This particuler day I came home from work and Kathi came out of the house holding our four year old daughter Missy, and clutching our five year old son Tom by the hand. She had a look of frustration on her face as she announced "These kids are yours". She then said that she was going to take a nap while our seven month old son Greg was sleeping.

I grabbed Tom and Missy to take them to the back yard so that I could set up a play area for them. I grabbed Tom's T-ball set out of the shed and set it up on the right side of the yard and handed Tom his little aluminum bat, (that Kathi bought for him), and told him not to go over to the left side of the yard, because if he hit Missy with his bat he could kill her. (Excellent parenting here by the way).

I went back into the shed and grabbed a couple of Missy's Barbi's from the toybox, and set her at the Little Tykes picnic table. I proceeded to tell her not to go over to the other side of the yard because if Tom hit her with his bat, she could die. (Some more excellent parenting here)

I then proceeded to get my electric sander out of the shed so that I could continue sanding our picnic table so that I could get it ready for the upcoming summer months. After 10 or 15 minutes of sanding I feel this tug on my left leg, and look down to see my son Tom's face full of horror. I turned the sander off and said, "What's wrong with you" he screamed "I KILLED MISSY". I franticly looked for my daughter, but she was no where to be found. I began to run into the house with a five year old boy clamped on my left leg screaming. I opened the front door and ran in to find Missy in the hallway holding her hand and screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'M GONNA DIE". By this time Greg was screaming his tiny little lungs out and Kathi came out of the bedroom screaming "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" I had to scream over the three kids that I was just taking care of my kids when all HELL broke lose. She screamed at me to get the Hell out of her house! As I sat in the car, I was amazed that my children actually listened to what I had told them. If you could have seen the horror in Tom's face when he thought that he had killed his sister, and Missy's face when she thought that she was going to die, I realized that I had a lot to learn about what you can and can't say to children. If you can't trust your parents, who can you trust?

I'm happy to say that Kathi finally let me back in the house after only a couple hours. I explained to the kids that Daddy should not have said the things that he did to cause confusion in the minds of a 5 and 4 year old. We laugh about it now that they have families of their own. But it definately opened my eyes to a whole new world of how to look at things.